the secret to happiness

dress (on sale & perfect for Valentine's Day!) | pumps | necklace (sold out online but still in J.Crew stores; similar here)

You probably saw the title of this post and thought this girl is crazy, there is no such secret. And actually, you'd be correct. There are few things I know for certain in life, and the fact that we're responsible for our own happiness is one of them. Some days I can tell that I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and no matter what happens, I'm gonna be moody about it. On those particular days, I'm choosing to be a grouch. Happiness is always a better choice, for my own well-being and those around me (yes Zach, especially you!).

The real "secret", though, is one that took me a mere twenty-eight years to realize. And the secret is that happiness comes from having something to look forward to. It sounds simple, right? And maybe like a bunch of bull. But think hard about it. I'll give some examples.

My eighty-year-old grandmother has lived a long, wonderful life. Five years ago, she lost the love of her life to cancer. Not long after, she was diagnosed with cancer and has been undergoing chemo treatments on and off for several years. She lives alone, in the house she and my grandpa built over sixty years ago. I talk to her on the phone almost every day, and what keeps her going is having something to look forward to. Sometimes it's small, like a lunch with one of her friends. For months it was my wedding, and then my brother's wedding, and now she's anxiously awaiting the arrival of a great-grandson. These are the things that she wants to talk about; not her loss, or health, or the poor state of the economy. She thinks about the exciting times to come, and she feels content. She doesn't need any more, or any less, than that.

In exactly two weeks, it will be two years since we lost my best friend, Brittney Granger, in a tragic car accident. For months I wondered if I'd ever really experience true joy again. I thought life would lose so much of it's luster, and my days seemed dark without her laugh and love. If I did ever feel a ping of delight, which I did often because Bear was a year old and having so many firsts, I felt guilty. I thought I shouldn't be feeling such joy without my Beanie here to share those times. Then one night I was thinking about her funeral, and the preacher's words finally sank in. You'll see her again. Not just in my dreams, or memories, or photographs. I'll see her again in heaven, and we'll eat Cadbury Eggs and hit golf balls and play practical jokes on all our friends (okay maybe not the last thing, depends on how strict the rules are up there). But you see, I can be happy knowing that we have endless wonderful times to come. I might have to wait a while for a Beanie reunion, but guaranteed it'll be worth the wait. And I smile just thinking about it.

As Christians, we believe that it only gets better from here. Life on earth is temporary, and what awaits us is far greater than anything we can imagine. That in itself is enough to render elation and put everything in perspective.
Even if you don't share these beliefs, you can plan. Set goals. Dream. Never stop anticipating the good. Within that mindset, happiness awaits. Carolyn Leigh said it best when she wrote The Best is Yet to Come.

Wishing you lots of hugs & happiness today and always.
xo, Britt