my thoughts on world breastfeeding week
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As I'm sure you all already know, August is National Breastfeeding Awareness Month and last week was World Breastfeeding Week. If you have an Instagram or Facebook account, there's no way you missed the onslaught of photos, personal stories, and informative posts regarding the many benefits of breastfeeding. I have nothing against such sharing, and actually enjoy reading other mothers' stories and hearing about their experiences. For the third year in a row since becoming a Mom, I chose not to post anything regarding breastfeeding last week. And I'll tell you why.
I breastfed Bear for fifteen months. If you've seen pictures of the little chunk as a baby, you know he could put away the milk. He refused to take a bottle, so I was the only person who could feed him. As an individual that goes stir crazy and gets cabin fever if she doesn't get out much, this was very confining and frustrating at times. Don't get me wrong, I loved nursing Bear. The "bond" everyone talks about is a very real thing and I relished being able to provide for my baby in a way that no-one else could. Even if I couldn't leave the house for more than a couple hours at a time, I'm so thankful I was able to nurse our little chubster.
I'm thankful because not everyone can. And because of this, some women experience extreme depression and guilt. The pressures to nurse put on by family, friends, and society as a whole can be overwhelming to a new mother. And if a mother can't produce enough milk or the process simply isn't working, the baby is in danger of not receiving the nutrients he needs. At this point, the pediatrician will typically step in and introduce formula. When every possible attempt at breastfeeding has been exhausted and the baby is not thriving, formula is a must. And no mother should ever, ever feel like a failure because of it.
Every August, my Instagram feed is flooded with breastfeeding related posts with hashtags like #breastisbest and #normalizebreastfeeding. Give me a break. Breastfeeding is normal, duh. Women have been breastfeeding babies since the beginning of time. It does suck to get dirty looks while you're breastfeeding your child in a restaurant. But you know what? I still get dirty looks when I let my toddler pick up a french fry and eat it off the floor or throw a little tantrum without taking him outside. No matter what we do as parents, we're going to be judged. Whether you whip out a boob and start feeding your kid or let them run around the table like a wild banshee (not that you should do the latter but hey, we've all done it), people are going to give looks. Let them.
The only thing National Breastfeeding Week is normalizing is the guilt we as mothers feel for not being able to do the "best" we can for our children. Maybe it's "best" to send your kids to private school, but not everyone can afford such an expense. Should we start a week advocating that, as well? I have friends that gave breastfeeding everything they had and it simply did not work. The guilt they felt for starting their babies on formula was absolutely heartbreaking. No mother, or person in general, should ever have to feel that way.
If you successfully breastfeed your child, be proud of it. I am! But don't use it as a means to make other mothers feel inadequate. Be careful with your words and the way you choose to voice your opinions on the matter. We've all heard the statistics of breast milk vs formula, and we all know about the beautiful bond that breastfeeding creates. Just because a mother doesn't experience that particular form of closeness with her child, doesn't mean she can't bond with her baby in other special, incredible ways.
I say we all keep doin' our thing and loving on our babies, no matter if they're breast or formula fed. Let's worry more about giving our children our time and love rather than normalizing something that may never be as accepted as it should be. We've gotta do less judging and more supporting. By creating a campaign emphasizing that any form of something is "best", we are setting up a means of failure for someone. I breastfed and now my kid lives off of chicken nuggets and french fries. Am I still the healthier mom?
No matter how you feed your baby, you are doing the very BEST you can possibly do. And Mama, that is enough.
xo, Britt